BLOOMBERG FOR MAYOR
126 E 56th Street
New York, NY 10022
Dear Mr. Bloomberg:
Please consider an idea of mine. I propose that the New York City secede from both the New York State and the United States and become a free city-state, rather like Hong Kong. This idea is not without precedent, as over a hundred years ago NYC mayor Fernando Wood recommended the very same thing. The following are just some of the benefits of secession to the people of New York:
1. No more federal and state taxes. Why send our resources to the federal and state bureaucrats who will “invest” it into absurd projects on the other side of the country, or subsidize poverty and vice, when we can leave in the hands of the productive classes, or spend it on local needs? The feds will no longer be able to extort us by withholding “funding” (our own tax money) and in so doing make us do their evil bidding.
2. No more federal and state regulations, most of which, as you know, do a great deal of damage to the economy. If necessary, we can make our own to suit our needs better. And what better way to save public education than to rid our city of the influence of the Department of Education and the NEA?
3. Our own immigration policy. We’ll have the whole world to choose from, because thanks to our independence and freedom from the heavy hand of government, we’ll quickly become the most prosperous country in the world, and everyone will want to live here. I would suggest that we grant a very limited number of citizenship applications per year, and only to the best and the brightest.
4. Our own currency, pegged either to the dollar or (my own preference) to gold. Sound money, free of political control, will fuel our economy like nothing else. You can even put your picture on it!
5. We’ll kick the evil U.N. bureaucrats out of the city-state. You will have to work out a deal with the state and federal governments regarding their property in our new country.
Sir, the main benefit of secession is self-determination. The central government in Washington, D.C. is a machine dedicated to destruction of wealth, corruption of American society, and endless warfare and foreign interventionism. New York State doesn’t do us any favors either. Let us sever the political ties with them, while maintaining all economic ties. Oh, you will be denounced in many newspapers, and the lawyers will have to work overtime, but I do not believe they will try to stop us by force. In fact, the rest of the country, especially the “red” states, will be happy to let us go (they don’t like us much), and you will make history.