Dogs be all like, “Lord, we want to go to heaven. To that end, we’ll serve our human masters perfectly. We’ll do anything, whatever it takes.” Jesus: “Sure, sounds good.”

Cats be all like, “Lord, we, too, want to go to heaven. However, we don’t want to do a damn thing to get there.” Jesus: “That, too, can be arranged. Ok, let there be light.”

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